I dreamed about being an elementary schooler. I was being bullied by a particular girl who was horrible. She would insult me, fill my backpack with cereal and sand when I left it alone, spread rumors about me, an elementary schooler, smoking and having sex with adults. I couldn't take it. During a chess tournament, it was horrible enough that I went up to and began choking her. Her throat was weak like rubber, she just stared at me while smiling as though she got what she wanted. I can't take any more detention. I can't be expelled. I looked for the teacher to share handwritten notes left behind in my bag. Her handwriting could be traced back. The teacher wasn't concerned. It was in my hands now. She wouldn't help me. I found that girl outside of the classroom. I was banging my head against the brick wall of the school building. No, I didn't deserve this. She had to fucking die. I went up to and began choking her. I dug my nails into her throat. I screamed, "Die, die, die, die, die, die," until waking up in my bed shaking around like I'm having a fucking seizure, screaming. Fuck.