Karlo is gone and nobody understands me. I try to do everything to stop him. He just won't let me. Go back in past and get cut with razor blades by brother I don't care how many razor blades it would take. I just want him back. I blame myself all the time for being the last one to have spoken with him. I blame myself for not doing more. I blame myself for selfishness and fearmongering. Went back to sleep and woke up shouting to the same fucking nightmare. My brother leaping onto my body and stabbing me to death with a box cutter